Learning to Trust

As we enter the holiday season and the end of 2013 is quickly approaching, I reflect back on all that God has blessed us with this year. I usually connect blessings with financial gain, but I am slowly learning, (at almost 30 years old) that God has more up his sleeves than money. I was once again blessed to be a teacher at our local Christian school, but as I showed up for the first week of school, I discovered that I would only be teaching part time. I was in a panic initially, frustrated with my schedule, my finances, childcare, etc. This is not a new concept for me, as I struggle with having completed so much schooling, only to receive so "little" in pay. My job for the last 8 years at our private school, has blessed me so much. I have received healing from my teen pregnancy, been with my daughter everyday, had the same schedule as her, been blessed over and over again by the families here, so much that I cannot imagine being anywhere else. Now, only working part time, I see that God orchestrated it all perfectly so that I can be at home with Lucas, and fulfill my duties as a wife and mother. As humbling, as this experience has been in dealing with my pride, and my feelings in regards to my paycheck, education, and self-esteem, I can see how God has provided financially for my family, with giving Richard more hours at work, and little side jobs to sustain us.

This journey has allowed me to trust in the Lord completely, and realize once again that I have no control over what is happening in my life. I still get frustrated with the situation, when I see others get teaching jobs that I know pay more, or I see my husband's desire to finish his bachelor's degree sidelined once again, but I have to enjoy the moments that I have at home with my son, the ability to workout with my girlfriends, have a lunch date or a play date. These precious moments with my children and husband are worth far more than any paycheck that I could receive for teaching other people's children. I just have to remember that in the moments that I feel jealousy or discontent. God certainly has a better plan, than I could ever imagine.